Lingerie shopping is tricky at the best of times. If you’ve tried and failed to find the perfect lingerie gift for your partner before it can be tempting to write off the whole experience and stick with some flowers instead. Flowers are lovely, but most of us girls would like a present too. Oh, and some chocolate.

If you’re left jaded by the world of female undergarments, then there’s an easy solution that you may not have thought to try: the wonderful world of the One Size garment. These beauteous items of clothing are designed to fit and flatter most figures, making One Size items as close to a dead cert as you can get.

The only rule with One Size fits most is knowing whether you want a Regular or a Plus Size fit. Generally a Regular size will fit up to a size 14 whereas Plus Size Lingerie will fit a size 16 upward. You can check which sizes the garment fits by looking at the box to the right of the product image.

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Halloween special offers

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Sexy body parts are ideal for sexual satisfaction but are also the perfect zombie deterrent. Even zombie logic can grasp that a home littered with body parts has no brains left to feast on.

Draw the zombies away from your homestead by leaving a trail of table top sex dolls and large male masturbators leading from your front door to part way down your street. Passing zombies will see the trail of realistic look and feel toys and will move onto your neighbour’s homes, leaving you to enjoy the apocalypse and nice cup of tea in comfort.

Halloween special offers

Halloweem Fancy Dress

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If you’ve got time, you can set a trap for your zombie assailant. Slick hardwood floors with silicone lubeand guide your zombie toward the puddle by using yourself as living bait.

Once the zombie slides over in the silicone slick, it’ll have a hard time getting back up, leaving you free to take action. Don’t be stingy with the lube, more is always better.

You can either try to restrain your fallen zombie or you can use something nearby to brain the sucker. Be careful that you don’t slip over into the jaws of your lubey zombie as the only thing worse than becoming one of the undead is becoming one of the undead with zero mobility.

Part 2: Appetite for Distraction

Halloween special offers

Halloweem Fancy Dress

50% off selected fancy dress outfits

Zombies will only break into a home where they suspect there are brains, they are not petty thieves and have little interest in your interior design skills. This means if a zombie has broken into your house, it knows you are in there somewhere.

As zombies are notoriously slow moving you have time to create a decoy that will allow you to escape, so reach for a blow-up sex doll, some bondage rope and a bottle of pheromone spray. Inflate your blow-up doll and use bondage rope to suspend it from a door, mirror or curtain rail, leaving it to swing. Hanging the doll near an open window will help keep it moving. Add a spritz of pheromone spray to draw the zombies via their acute sense of smell. To attract the zombies, pop the radio on so that they’re drawn to your doll and retreat to a safe distance. Wait for the zombie to besiege your doll and then quietly make your escape.

Halloween special offers

Halloweem Fancy Dress

50% off selected fancy dress outfits

Capturing a zombie in the name of science is one of the most noble things a person can do. Many will run, most will die but few will have the guts to capture their own zombie sub to ensure a cure is found. If you’re a fan of bondage then you have all the tools you need to selflessly capture a zombie, ensuring your survival and helping the boffins of the world prevent zombification becoming an all-consuming pandemic.

In order to capture your zombie you’ll need to incapacitate it without destroying the brain. Your aim is to get your zombie in a position that allows you to restrain it without you being in harm’s way. For this I recommend a large, blunt object that’s capable of knocking a zombie over. What you need is a nice big dildo or male masturbator. Double-ended dildos, large realistic sex doll parts and over-sized dildos make the most effective weapons. Aim to hit the zombie firmly across the face to send them off balance.

Once they’re floored you can use your bondage gear to restrain your undead intruder. Ropes can take a little too long to faff with in an emergency, so I recommend you opt for a pair of lockable cuffs. Metal handcuffs are the best form of restraint for BZSM as they lock quickly and easily without the need for fiddly padlocks. Once your zombie is cuffed, you can fit a ball gag to prevent any ankle biting or projectile virus transmission. Opt for your biggest, most solid ball gag to ensure the zombie doesn’t bite through it and for goodness’ sake, ensure you keep your fingers well clear of its chops.

Halloween special offers

Halloweem Fancy Dress

50% off selected fancy dress outfits

The trouble with zombies is that they come at night, and so do we. Most of our sexual thrills are had between the sheets before bedtime and many of us will encounter our first zombie while getting frisky with a partner or ourselves. Most inconvenient.

On the plus side, Lovehoney customers will have plenty of weapons within arm’s reach to help them combat the brain-hungry Z army.

At Lovehoney we believe in providing the best possible sex advice for all occasions, so in order to keep you sexually happy during the inconvenience of the apocalypse and the collapse of society, we’ve tried and tested some of the best methods of defeating zombies using only sex toys by subjecting myself to the wrath of three very brain-hungry zombies. Eeeek!

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Halloween Lingerie

Halloween is a time when we can become whatever we want to be. For children, they become their favorite cartoon character, movie star, etc. When it comes to adults, they find it a time where they can be wild and sexy without really having any ramifications.

Going to an Adult Halloween Party

When going to an adult Halloween Party and it involves friends, it is really anything goes. There are many sexy costumes out there that will cater to anyone’s needs. Some of the most popular costumes this year are:

1. Police Costume

2. Fire Fighter

3. Prisoner

4. Vampires

5. Military/Navy

As you can see, many of the costumes are the “uniform” type costumes. I would guess the sex appeal in those costumes lies in the fact that they are traditionally “men in uniform” and having a woman in the uniform adds a very alluring twist.

Any costume with a short skirts or pair of shorts, cleavage revealing or matching thigh hi combination is sure to be a pleaser. You will get many looks!
Lingerie Halloween Party

It is becoming popular for people to through lingerie Halloween parties. The difference between the regular Halloween party and the lingerie Halloween party is that the one with lingerie in front of it is just getting to the point. Think about it. Anything that is scantily clad- or made up of sheer or revealing material is often referred to as lingerie.

So there we go- Halloween for adults is an excuse for woman to dress in ultra sexy attire in public and not feel wrong about it. Go on and have fun- Halloween only comes once a year!

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If you’ve got got this far, you’re already winning some Brownie points. Well done for taking the initiative to do your research, I can assure you that your lady love will appreciate that little bit of extra effort when she unwraps your lingerie gift and not only does it fit, it’s something she’ll love and feel great wearing too.

This guide will help you make the right choices when shopping for lingerie for your wife, girlfriend or lover. If you want to buy lingerie for the special woman in your life, this guide is your pathway to choosing the perfect gift every time.

Before we get down to the shopping, there are a few sneaky bits of information that you need to gather to ensure that you’re armed with of all the intell you need to buy your woman the right gift from our selection of hundreds of garments. It’s a little like being a detective, you have to amass all of the clues she’s left in her closet to build a picture of her perfect gift.

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Choosing the right type of lingerie can make you feel sexy and confident, with figure enhancing qualities and comfort being key factors in your decision. There are many different types of lingerie, with each type fitting to every occasion and how you want it to make you feel. Lovehoney’s guide to the different lingerie types ensures you can make an informed decision when it comes to finding the item for you.

Babydoll

A babydoll is similar to a chemise, but is usually looser-fitting than a chemise and tends to flare out at the hips, with a full and flouncy skirt. A babydoll is a very playful and provocative piece of lingerie that enhances the bust and shows the legs. Because babydolls boost the bust and flare out from the underbust, a babydoll is a great choice if you wish to draw attention away from your tummy.

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Starting life as a salon-only treatment, the popularity of Vajazzling exploded in 2010 with women opting to go a little further with their hair removal. Rather than worry about styling public hair to make ‘down there’ look more interesting, women could opt for a full wax followed by a Vajazzle – a beautiful arrangement of sparkling crystals in place of their pubic topiary.

Vajazzling received worldwide coverage after an interview with Jennifer Love Hewitt on the ‘Lopez Tonight’ show in the US went viral online. When talking about her book, ‘The Day I Shot Cupid’, love Hewitt revealed that she had dedicated an entire chapter to Vajazzling after a break-up left her feeling low. She recounted how a girlfriend had taken her to a salon for a Vajazzling session to cheer her up and reported that it was a great way to get over an ex and she’s been Vajazzling ever since.

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